Tribute to Mum
As many if you know I like to talk, too much, too often and too loudly some would say. As a Methodist Minister words are what I use most, written words and spoken words; and yet as I come to use words to talk about Mum I find them totally inadequate, how do you sum up the wonderful, generous and loving lady whose life we are here to celebrate and give thanks for with mere words? Yet words are all I have, and I make this tribute knowing it is wholly inadequate.
My earliest memories of my Mum always involve her kindness and love: my brother and I honestly could not have had a better Mum. She always wanted the very best for us, whether that was the food we enjoyed, the toys we played with of the clothes we wore. Admittedly, when looking at old photos of when I was young I cringe at some of the clothes, but Mum assured me they were very fashionable and that dressing my brother and I in the same outfits was the done thing. She wanted the very best for us and made sure we had it.
I have so many memories of growing up and of Mum's influence in my life that it's hard to pick any out. One thing that does stick in my mind is that she taught us that from wrong and impeccable manners. My brother and I always knew how to behave properly in a restaurant or hotel dining room, something sadly lacking in many children today who shout and run around in restaurants. My Mum was a true lady and wanted to bring up true gentlemen.
I remember once on a family holiday that we were looking for somewhere to have lunch and everywhere was full. We eventually decided on fish and chips and to my Mum's horror we made her eat them out of the newspaper as we walked down the street. She was not amused! It was a bit like the time when we had a caravan and my Dad put the milk on the table in a bottle for breakfast. It was swiftly removed and the milk returned in a jug.
I can't think of Mum without thinking about Christmas. She loved Christmas. It was her favourite time of the year and a time when she thought family should be together. When my brother and I were children we had Christmas Day with Mum and Dad and there were always more Christmas presents than we were expecting and the best Christmas Dinner in the world! Boxing Day often involved the whole of my Mum's family with Aunties, Uncles, Cousins and Grandparents all enjoying more delicious food and each other's company.
As we left home and got married Mum would always spend Christmas with either myself, Sue and Alice; or Michael, Hayley and Elizabeth. These were special times for all of us.
Other special times were family holidays. I've already mentioned the fish and chips incident but I have so many happy memories of family holidays. We went to Jersey several times as a family and the Isle of Man twice. We also went to Ibiza, Formentera and Tenerife! We also explored a lot of Britain as well, most of which I enjoyed, although I'll be perfectly content never to set foot in a Stately Home again.
My Mum and Dad together made me the person I am today. Well, I'll credit them for all that is good about me, the rest is entirely my own fault!
In particular, if it wasn't for Mum I wouldn't be a Methodist Minister today. From an early and she insisted I went to Sunday School and encouraged me as a teenager to be confirmed. She prayed for me during the time I lost interest in Christianity around my early thirties and I'm sure it's due to her prayers and gentle challenges that I can back to my faith. When I was accredited as a Local Preacher I didn't think I could do anything to make Mum more proud: but she was bursting with pride last June when she attended my ordination service in Coventry, telling anyone who was prepared to listen how proud she was of me.
That pride, if course, extended to my brother for all that he has achieved on his life, it was evident on both our wedding days and, particularly when her grandchildren were born. It can be truly said that Mum was the best mother Michael and I could have had and she was also a fantastic grandma to Alice and Elizabeth: spoiling them rotten, which she said was a grandma's privilege and taking an interest in everything they did.
It goes without saying that Mum was devastated when Dad passed away last March and missed him terribly; yet she determined to get on with life and to continue to be the loving Mum and Grandma she has always been. She had plans to sell her house and move to a flat in Poulton, but in March this year was told she had terminal cancer.
I think she took the news far better than I did and faced the cancer with courage and determination, determined to make the best of whatever life she had left but also confident in her eternal destiny. She had an absolutely firm conviction in the reality of the eternal life promised by Jesus and the fact that she would be reunited with my Dad in heaven. She told me she knew where she was going, but that she'd rather stay with us for a few more years yet. Sadly it was not to be and she slipped away very peacefully at lunchtime on 20th May with her family around her, just as she wanted.
Mum, I will never forget you and I will always love you. You are the best Mum anybody could have had.
Saturday, 30 May 2015
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
PMS, Feminism & Religious Bigotry
Yesterday a friend of mine posted a very well written blog about the effects of PMS. My friend is a Methodist Minister and a feminist and what she posted was very enlightening and helpful to me as a man, helping me to understand what women go through; enlightening me considerably.
For some reason this particular post was read by many more people then her usual readership. I don't know all the details but she received abusive comments and threats from people who would, no doubt, consider themselves religious and claim that God is on their side. I have a different description for them: in my opinion they are ignorant bigots!
It is people like that in all faith paths, not just Christianity, who give their faith a bad name. In the case of Christians it is those for whom Christianity is an intellectual ascent to a set of beliefs or a creed, rather than on a living and loving relationship with Jesus Christ. It is those who profess to be Christians but display no evidence of their faith in their lives, it is a faith of words without deeds, of lives without love. Jesus gave us a new commandment, to love one another. We cannot call Jesus our master with integrity and then fail to obey his commandment to love.
I write as a Methodist Minister, as somebody most people would consider to be religious. I don't know if God is on my side or not: but I do my best to serve him and bring his love to those who so desperately need it.
The God I seek to serve, the God I love, is indeed love itself. In his first epistle the Apostle John wrote, "love us from God: everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love". (1 John 4:7-8, NRSV).
My friend did a very loving thing for her sister women when she wrote about PMS. I'm sure God was smiling on her for writing and publishing it.
I'm equally sure God isn't smiling on the person or people who have cause my friend such distress and worry. He loves them and will forgive them if they repent; but right now it is my understand that God is not on their side because they have shown anything but love: "whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love."
I am saddened and angered that my friend has been hurt, frightened and distressed by the unloving, uncaring and, in my opinion, bigoted words of others. I pray that God will touch their hearts with the love of the living Christ and they would know the changed and transformed lives of true Chrustian believers!
I also pray that God will protect my friend from any who would wish her harm and that she would be able to nestle securely in the love and care of God.
For some reason this particular post was read by many more people then her usual readership. I don't know all the details but she received abusive comments and threats from people who would, no doubt, consider themselves religious and claim that God is on their side. I have a different description for them: in my opinion they are ignorant bigots!
It is people like that in all faith paths, not just Christianity, who give their faith a bad name. In the case of Christians it is those for whom Christianity is an intellectual ascent to a set of beliefs or a creed, rather than on a living and loving relationship with Jesus Christ. It is those who profess to be Christians but display no evidence of their faith in their lives, it is a faith of words without deeds, of lives without love. Jesus gave us a new commandment, to love one another. We cannot call Jesus our master with integrity and then fail to obey his commandment to love.
I write as a Methodist Minister, as somebody most people would consider to be religious. I don't know if God is on my side or not: but I do my best to serve him and bring his love to those who so desperately need it.
The God I seek to serve, the God I love, is indeed love itself. In his first epistle the Apostle John wrote, "love us from God: everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love". (1 John 4:7-8, NRSV).
My friend did a very loving thing for her sister women when she wrote about PMS. I'm sure God was smiling on her for writing and publishing it.
I'm equally sure God isn't smiling on the person or people who have cause my friend such distress and worry. He loves them and will forgive them if they repent; but right now it is my understand that God is not on their side because they have shown anything but love: "whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love."
I am saddened and angered that my friend has been hurt, frightened and distressed by the unloving, uncaring and, in my opinion, bigoted words of others. I pray that God will touch their hearts with the love of the living Christ and they would know the changed and transformed lives of true Chrustian believers!
I also pray that God will protect my friend from any who would wish her harm and that she would be able to nestle securely in the love and care of God.
Monday, 11 May 2015
As the General Election Dust Settles....
And so the dust starts to settle after Thursday's unexpected General Election result.
I have posted a few thoughts on FaceBook in the past few days, but wanted to revisit my thoughts on the General Election and also to reflect on a response to a majority Conservative government.
My first thought is the genuine anger on FaceBook at "the electorate", and anger presumably spread beyond that social networking site. People are angry with "the electorate" for choosing a Conservative government, saying they got it badly wrong.
It is worth pointing out that we live in a democracy where people are free to vote as they choose. The "electorate" didn't get anything wrong; individual voters have expressed their preference in their constituencies and, as a result, the Conservatives have a majority. That's how our British democracy currently works!
It is also worth pointing out that due to our current electoral system the Conservative won a parliamentary majority even though only 37% of voters voted for them. 63%, the majority, did not vote for them. More people didn't want a Conservative government than did. This will continue to happen until we agree to a proper system of proportional representation in our elections, instead of our manifestly unfair first part the post system.
There has been much debate about why Labour didn't do better in the face of an unpopular government. Some have suggested that Ed Milliband may have been the problem, that people just did not see him, for whatever reason, as a credible Prime Minister: even though a friend who knows him well has assured me he would have been a great PM. Otters have suggested that the people still do not trust Labour with the economy, despite the fact that the economic collapse under the Gordon a Brown government was largely the fault of the bankers. Still others have suggested that there was so little perceived difference between Labour and the Conservative on the big issues that people decided "better the devil we know". In direct contrast, others still suggest that Labour has moved too far to the left for most voters, as it did in the 80s, and made itself unelectable. Former Labour PM Tony Blair has suggested they need to move back towards the centre.
The SNP were also a factor in Labour's defeat. The actual number of seats they won in Scotland made not difference, but the Conservatives managed to successfully generate a fear of a left wing Labour/SNP alliance to scare voters into supporting them. It is always a matter of concern to me when the politics of fear is used; one only has to look to Germany in the 1930s to see where that can potentially lead.
Whatever the reason, the Conservatives won the General Election. The Labour and Liberal Democrat parties now have to dust themselves down, choose new leaders and rebuild their credibility in the eyes of the electorate. I pray that they will do so because strong opposition that calls the government to account is good for democracy. An opposition leader who is seen by all as a credible Prime Minister is also a good thing for democracy.
As for those of us who are Christians, are not politicians, and are unhappy with the result, what can we do? Complaining about the results in social media achieves nothing. That is not to say that social media isn't a good platform for political comment and protest as it manifestly is, but considered criticism that challenges and makes people really think is far better than angry protest.
What we can do us to become more politically active. Those who say Chrustianity and politics don't mix have obviously never read their Bibles properly. We can be active by joining one of the political parties and helping with their campaigning. We can be active by supporting those causes we believe in; by helping others and showing them the love of Christ who is concerned for all. The parable of the sheep and goats suggests that we cannot be neutral when it comes to welfare and justice: we are called to be active in helping others.
And just in case you are wondering what I'm going to do..... amongst other things I'm joining the Green Party!
I have posted a few thoughts on FaceBook in the past few days, but wanted to revisit my thoughts on the General Election and also to reflect on a response to a majority Conservative government.
My first thought is the genuine anger on FaceBook at "the electorate", and anger presumably spread beyond that social networking site. People are angry with "the electorate" for choosing a Conservative government, saying they got it badly wrong.
It is worth pointing out that we live in a democracy where people are free to vote as they choose. The "electorate" didn't get anything wrong; individual voters have expressed their preference in their constituencies and, as a result, the Conservatives have a majority. That's how our British democracy currently works!
It is also worth pointing out that due to our current electoral system the Conservative won a parliamentary majority even though only 37% of voters voted for them. 63%, the majority, did not vote for them. More people didn't want a Conservative government than did. This will continue to happen until we agree to a proper system of proportional representation in our elections, instead of our manifestly unfair first part the post system.
There has been much debate about why Labour didn't do better in the face of an unpopular government. Some have suggested that Ed Milliband may have been the problem, that people just did not see him, for whatever reason, as a credible Prime Minister: even though a friend who knows him well has assured me he would have been a great PM. Otters have suggested that the people still do not trust Labour with the economy, despite the fact that the economic collapse under the Gordon a Brown government was largely the fault of the bankers. Still others have suggested that there was so little perceived difference between Labour and the Conservative on the big issues that people decided "better the devil we know". In direct contrast, others still suggest that Labour has moved too far to the left for most voters, as it did in the 80s, and made itself unelectable. Former Labour PM Tony Blair has suggested they need to move back towards the centre.
The SNP were also a factor in Labour's defeat. The actual number of seats they won in Scotland made not difference, but the Conservatives managed to successfully generate a fear of a left wing Labour/SNP alliance to scare voters into supporting them. It is always a matter of concern to me when the politics of fear is used; one only has to look to Germany in the 1930s to see where that can potentially lead.
Whatever the reason, the Conservatives won the General Election. The Labour and Liberal Democrat parties now have to dust themselves down, choose new leaders and rebuild their credibility in the eyes of the electorate. I pray that they will do so because strong opposition that calls the government to account is good for democracy. An opposition leader who is seen by all as a credible Prime Minister is also a good thing for democracy.
As for those of us who are Christians, are not politicians, and are unhappy with the result, what can we do? Complaining about the results in social media achieves nothing. That is not to say that social media isn't a good platform for political comment and protest as it manifestly is, but considered criticism that challenges and makes people really think is far better than angry protest.
What we can do us to become more politically active. Those who say Chrustianity and politics don't mix have obviously never read their Bibles properly. We can be active by joining one of the political parties and helping with their campaigning. We can be active by supporting those causes we believe in; by helping others and showing them the love of Christ who is concerned for all. The parable of the sheep and goats suggests that we cannot be neutral when it comes to welfare and justice: we are called to be active in helping others.
And just in case you are wondering what I'm going to do..... amongst other things I'm joining the Green Party!
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