It's funny, but after a few years of my theology moving in a more liberal/progressive direction I have found myself in recent months moving back to what many would consider a more conservative evangelical theology.
I don"t think I could ever, in my whole life, have been described as a fundamentalist; but for most of my teenage years, twenties and thirties I was avowedly a conservative evangelical, fed on a steady diet of books by inspired Christians like David Watson, Derek Prince, AW Tozer, RT Krndall, Michael Green and John Stott. The Bible was the inspired word of God, it's authors inspired and guided by the Holy Spirit as they wrote, the message of God filtered through individual human personalities bit still the message of God.
It also seemed to me that the churches that were growing, that were successful, were the ones that preached this conservation evangelical faith, that took God at his word and had faith that it is true!
Then came a season of questioning, of some doubt. I started local preacher training and was advised to read authors from a wider theological spectrum. I was told that this reading would challenge my faith but the, ultimately, I would emerge with a more "mature faith." This wider reading continued, of course, throughout my time of training as a Student Minister. In retrospect I was fortunate, though, that some of our tutors were evangelicals themselves.
Since leaving college and starting my service in Circuit as first a Probstionet Presbyter and now as an ordained Presbytet in full connexion I have been wrestling with my theology, with where I stood on understanding the scriptures, what I believed about healings and miracles and the existence of the devil, what I thought about universal salvation.
I have read and read and read. I have prayed and prayed. I have asked God to lead me to where he wants me to be, theologically. I've read books by progressives like Brian McLaren, books by liberals like John Robinson, John Shelby Spong, John Dominic Crossan and Marcus Borg. Equally I re-read some of my books by older conservative evangelical authors and also devoured Billy Graham's autobiography and other conservative evangelical books that were new to me.
Who was right? The conservative evangelicals? The liberals and/or the progressives? How could I make a choice? All argued very persuasively and all said their position was the correct one. The liberals and progressives sometimes mocked and ridiculed conservative evangelical theology, which disturbed me and which I felt was a deeply unloving and unchristian thing to do. Equally I was uncomfortable by suggestion from the evangelical camp that those who disagreed with them we in league with Satan or being tricked by him.
Just a few days ago, on Facebook, I described myself as a progressive evangelical. I would no longer do so.
At heart, deep down inside, I am convinced of the conservative evangelical position on most theological issues. This will come as a surprise to come of my friends and maybe they will not like it, but it's where I feel God had led me.
That doesn't mean blind faith and it doesn't mean that I am ignoring everything I was taught. It does not mean that when studying the Bible I will ignore the type of literature a particular book contains. T does not mean that I will ignore historical context and textual context.
But it does mean that, for me, I have decided to trust God, to trust in his power and knowledge above that of human beings. I believe the Bible to be much more than a record of human thoughts about God. It is divinely inspired! I am convinced that Jesus was truly Human and divine ( and not just a human being who was really close to God as some Liberals suggest). I am convinced that Jesus died for my sins in my place and that he physically rose from the dead. I believe that he did all the healings and miracles attributed to him, exactly as they are recounted in the gospels and that such miracle can and do happen today. I believe that there is a devil and demons who are absolutely opposed to God: and that they are already defeated foes, beaten by Christ's death on the cross!
I think that the church has gone too far in trying to be "relevant" and softening or even distorting Christianoty instead of being a counter-cultural voice for change.
I will be joining Methodist Evangelicals Together and linking in with the New Wine networks.
After several years I know what my theological convictions are. I' mm ot saying I have all the answers or that I have all the answers, because those who have that attitude ate almost certainly wrong.
I am saying that I've come full circle, back to the point where I can comfortably and without concern confess to being a conservative evangelical Christian!
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